Random Thoughts

So I am scheduled to have sinus surgery May 7th, however, I am going in Monday for a second opinion.  I scheduled my surgery in a numb state of denial.  I just could not really wrap my head around it.  Days afterward I started getting nervous and uneasy about my decision.  So Monday I am seeing a second ENT Doc.  The sinus that needs surgery is behind my eye and causing headaches and LOTS of pressure.  I am finding anything that requires a great deal of focus with my eyes is becoming more difficult like reading and driving.  If surgery really is the "cure" then I will be on board.  However, the surgery is no walk in the park so I want to be sure.  Surgery = a broken nose, black eyes, swelling, and pain. 

J starts his vacation on Sunday! He is counting down the hours.  He is no longer going to Texas, but we will have some fun around town. 

I cannot believe that I have not done a post on our new cat addition.  We have had her a month now, she is so sweet.  I named her Tessa.  Tess will have her own post soon, she deserves it.  
I am missing my Grace so much.  Just tonight I looked at her empty bed and I cried.  My heart is heavy.  Grief is hard, it seems to come in unpredictable waves.  I have also been dealing with such feelings of guilt.
I know guilt is a normal stage of grief, but it is still difficult.